You’ve heard the expression ‘nice guys finish last’ but it’s an idiotic one. Nice guys (and girls) do just fine, better than fine, it’s pushovers who finish last. Obviously human language is a monumental leap forward in how organisms communicate but the dark side is that the name we apply to an an experience is not the same as the experience itself, the name is just an approximation. Words have the same potential to obfuscate as they do to enlighten.
The idea of nice guys finishing last is an example of rationalization. For many, the real underlying attitude is not exactly nice. It’s allowing others to take advantage. It’s a lack of self-confidence. What’s going on under the friendly veneer is roiling broiling hostility, resentment, discontent, fantasies of revenge, low self-esteem, guilt.
The decision to be nice doesn’t have to stop you from standing up for yourself, from making your way in the world, from getting your needs met, from self-actualizing in the way that is right for you. Nice guys don’t finish last, pushovers finish last.